Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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