uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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