Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The adults are the big ones right?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
