Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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