I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
