I heard we made out
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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