The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
