You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
