Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
