After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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