...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize