so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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