Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You've changed since you got that strap on
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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