I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
