"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
