That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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