I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
