If i come over, it means nothing
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
