btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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