operation have a gay friend backfired
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
