they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
