Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
