Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
