if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
