I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
