U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
