People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
