glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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