Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It's blow job season.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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