is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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