Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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