I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you made out with another girl for some wings
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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