I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
