Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
