I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
