I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
