New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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