For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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