u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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