sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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