Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's like iHOP with fire
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
