i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize