We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
