I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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