I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
