Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize