dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize