Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
