My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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