when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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