my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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