It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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