Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
