I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
