your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
last night I used snow as a chaser
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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