i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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