I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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