Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Please don't give away my fajitas
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
