no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
