im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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