Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
