When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
