Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize